When my heart started racing at work today out of an unnamed anxiety, I knew that it was time for a break.
Now, let me tell you, I plan on fully embracing my weekend when it comes to it but for right now, I know that I need to take a night to just relax. I’m right in the middle of my week and I need time. At this point in my life, I am finally starting to really learn who I am and what I need. I’m getting more in touch with myself and my emotions and I’m starting to learn when I need time off.
When my anxiety is bad, when I’m in a bad headspace, I have a habit of cleaning. Especially the kitchen. There’s something just so satisfying about scrubbing a kitchen sink when you feel like you’re spinning. Sometimes, this habit is for the good. Sometimes, I have the energy to clean and I feel better when I’m done, plus I end up with a clean apartment. Sometimes, this habit is for the bad. When I’m tired, worn off my feet, stressed, unable to think straight, hungry…it’s not a good thing. I get home from work and I feel stressed to clean, like I’m going to get in trouble for not doing it.
Today, I just couldn’t. It took a lot of strength but when I got home, I made a decision to make this night strictly about my self care. Tonight is not about being productive, cleaning and what not. Tonight is the night to just try and breathe. I’m pretty proud of myself for that.
It’s so important to take time for yourself. Listen to yourself, your body, and take some time. The cleaning will get done when it gets done. No one is going to die if it doesn’t happen RIGHT NOW. Life is hard. Life is exhausting. Find the simple things that make you happy and just do it.
Have a bath.
Visit your favourite cafe.
Play with your makeup.
Watch a new show.
(I am currently watching Dark Tourist and I am obsessed)
Just do anything that is going to make you feel like a normal human being again.
I had a coffee with a good friend today after work, we talked and we caught up. It felt good to see her again. When I got home, I was excited to just be home for the night and that was when I decided to have a mental health break tonight.
To make things a little easier for me, I did a few chores. I made my bed, I got my clothes set up for the next day, and I put away my groceries. After that, I jumped into the shower and I had a long, cold shower. It’s HOT today and I felt sweaty and gross so I ran a shower and cooled off. Post shower, I made a cup of tea and some dinner. Now, I find myself in bed, writing this blog post, and watching Netflix. I feel good. I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.
I hope that tonight, I will be able to get some sleep. I hope that tomorrow, I will wake up with enough energy to finish out my week on a high note.
Take care of yourself. You’re going to be okay.